On New Directions

So, over the last four days I have had a certain amount of thoughts that have been nothing less than lingering over my head.

This week in lab has been one of those weeks and in the scientific community "one of those weeks" is a very intimidating week. You spend two, three or more weeks concentrating hard on a subject gathering a lot of data and getting somewhere fast. Then, when all else is smoothly sailing along the seas of insight and well-kept-plans, you reach a week where everything slows down to a crawl, things don't work, colonies don't appear on your plates after all that work: PCR magnification, purification, running gels, dna extractions from gels, digests, ligations and then ultimately transfections.

Well, long story short, it's one of those weeks. It's been a lot of hurry-up-and-wait, the kind of work that is necessary; dirty and unhappy, but necessary for the big tickets. I've come to realize a very, very important aspect of my personality that I do not really think I ever fully realized even though I would make self-aware claims like this all the time.

I am dependent on responsibility, pressure and engagement.

When I come home early from lab I feel lazy and unfulfilling. When I sit around with nothing to do I get disgusted with myself. I find some kind of solace in dealing with any problem in my head while working diligently on mixing reagents, running absorbances, whatever--you name it.

Thus, to my real epiphany that I fully uncovered today. I am built for the graduate student life. The stories and stereotypes of grad students staying in lab from 8am to 9pm are not false. They are absolutely true and absolutely ubiquitous. Working weekends are true. It is all true. Grad students work nearly as much as budding doctors, and get less than the credit they deserve. They must grapple with the mindset of undergraduate philosophies that is now meant to think outside of the box completely. Thinking that transcends problem solving--more importantly problem-identifying. There are a million and one ways to ask any question to some far-off answer. Likely there are equal correct ways about doing something, yet it is something wholeheartedly different identifying the best path to answer those questions.

Thus I realized that no matter where I end up in life, I must have pressure, responsibility and expectations piling up at my feet. Otherwise I will live a very unhappy, unfulfilling life.

Now, just can't wait for the beach.

What really grinds my gears...

So, I decided, "you know what? I'm going to sell my Zune 30 on Amazon and get a cool $130-160 for it and help finance a new Zune 80 in the next month or so, right?"

Well, guess what? You have to PAY Amazon $40.00 per month to sell shit like that on there! Granted it is a great deal for buyers--you get a much greater feeling of trust from the seller that it is not crap since they have to pay good money to sell it...but they charge MUCH more on there than Ebay for Marketplace Zune's! Thus, to sell on Amazon I could get about $160, on ebay? $90-100!

That sucks, because Amazon has a buyer guarantee--if I were to sell a bad item to ANYONE, they could call amazon, get reimbursed then I have to deal with Amazon...so why not just use that Policy for sellers of Mp3 players and other big items!? It's crappy, really, and I'm a little dissapointed because I was totally going to use that to finance a new Zune... :(

Oh well, maybe I can sell it somewhere else

On New Things

So, the past week or so I have had quite a bit of an undertaking. I have sampled (well, more than sampled...) pretty much every big release that I have been curious about.

The new Coldplay, My Morning Jacket, Black Keys, Weezer, She & Him, and the new Death Cab for Cutie. Let's just start from the beginning of that list.

The new Coldplay is just good, flat-out good. They seem like they have finally found their sound and style and not venturing too far into sappiness that they were so found of for so long. If nothing else, check out the opening track and "42" to really get a good idea of this rocking English band at their best. The new My Morning Jacket Evil Urges, is less than stellar. MMJ has been one of my most favorite bands for quite a long time, yet this is the first album ever that I wasn't blown away the first listen. The tracks that I downloaded before release, "Highly Suspicious" and "Evil Urges," are by far the most exciting songs on the record, and "I'm Amazed" probably being my most favorite track so far. I just can't get into it too much, maybe after i see them live again it will all jostle, but I'm not sure I like this new direction. Z was good, different than normal, but good. Maybe classic, but not sure about this one yet. Black Keys is good, they aren't my favorite band and never will be, but I can put them on most anytime and really dig it.

The new Weezer is awesome. Not as poppy as the last outing, but definitely with some of the most memorable songs I've heard in a while. She & Him has proven to be the most efficient next step for M. Ward. Being a HUUUGE M. Ward fan, I was skeptical how someone else could hope to share his spotlight, but Zooey Deschanel is an amazing singer and the style of the music has only merely changed--if only to fit her singing. A great album.

The new M. Night movie, The Happening was by far one of the most laughable movies I have ever seen. I am the biggest M. Night apologist you'll meet. I loved all the other movies he did, with a passion. From The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, to The Village and Signs I was sold and they are by far the best horror movies I have ever seen. Lady in the Water was good, and I enjoyed it for what is was worth, and maybe The Happening is meant to be taken no more serious than a B-movie...because that is exactly what it is. A B-movie with a twenty million dollar budget. Mark Wahlberg was amazing, always a commanding actor, but there was so much over-acting by actors who are generally some of the most compelling you will ever see, so much black humor, so much just flat out holes in the plot that I believe M. Night was making his modern day 1960s/1970s cheap thrill b-movie.

If that is the case, I loved it. If not, this movie made me lose my faith in politically driven suspense movies forever.

Where To Begin

Wow, so it's been a harrowing past three weeks or so.

I am quite sure that I've gone from one attitude to the next to the next in those three weeks, and for that I feel like I'm actually feeling a little more whole and intact now that I'm in Nashville. Obviously living in a new town would make one feel more focused, right? Yeah, I did not expect that either.

Nashville is an amazing town; though only being here for almost two weeks, I have done enough and seen enough to realize that I really digg this town. From the small side streets with plethora of small shops and hang-outs to the ridiculous downtown of Broadway. I really like Nashville, and I really like Vanderbilt.

I am loving my lab! My PI is one of the most intriguing and interesting fellows I have ever met, and my research is really exciting me. The grad student I am working with is unbelievably helpful and understanding and I could not ask for a better advisor for this summer. The Post-Docs in the lab are all wonderful and nice and full of their own unique flavor. I am one of three domestics in the lab, the rest being internationals from Russian, Ukraine, Iran and even China. I know what your thinking, the axis of evil in my lab, right? Yeah, that sure is an astute observation by such a clever individual as yourself. Go ahead and have yourself a delicious cookie in honor of your hilarious humour.

Things are going well. Too well?

Perhaps the best news in the last week has been not only my PI being completely okay with me taking a leave of absence for a week to go on my family vacation (with literally the entire family ~25 people) to Holden Beach, but also that my best friend in the world, Amy, will be joining me.

I am so excited and it will be, by far, the best vacation ever.

Done deal.

I have beaten GTAIV, downloaded countless new albums (the new Coldplay is amazing! and I generally don't go for them) and the entire M. Ward discography (because he and Zooey Deschanel are coming to Nashville July 30, and I purchased an iPhone. It is amazing. I'm getting along great with the guys down here in my suite (though I don't much like my arrogant roommate--oh well, he doesn't have to know I honestly think he's a piece of shit, right?)

Everything is great, I could not hope to be anywhere else this summer.















3 weeks, 3 weeks!

Nashville At Night

Nashville At Night, originally uploaded by aaronfidler.

Aaron Fidler