Your love will be, safe with me

This modern looking, contemporary art image is a map of my mouse cursor over the course of 3 hours. It's called IO Graphica and it's pretty awesome. I made this, and this being the only one, a few months back and basically just forgot about it. I set it to run, forgot about it, then three hours later it was like, 'hey, here's your cursor map...because you totally needed this.'

Yep. It's official. I have become an NBA fan. I've watched every Cav and Celtics game and most of Oklahoma City in the Playoffs so far, and so far Celtics have advanced (Go, Rondo! UK!) and looks like Cavs may finish off the Bulls. There are so many UK players that it's sort of like watching old UK games...sort of. Plus Joakim Noah is a Bull and it feels oh, so, good watching (UK fan) Lebron school that Florida filth. I used to really hate the Gators, but they suck anymore so...eh...

Apparently the whole Coach Cal conversation with Larry Brown is being speculated that it was either (a) an exhibition game with an NBA team--which is very unlikely as there are plenty of rules against that kind of thing, or (b) an exhibition game with former Cats (many NBA) and maybe even a few non-UK NBA stars, a la Lebron. I really, REALLY like this idea. I will gladly take that and would love to go to that more than Madness. Which speaking of, Madness is only five and a half months away.

Cavs advance. Hells yes.

I haven't played guitar as much as I have in the last 3 weeks in a very long time. Playing Blindsided (Bon Iver) was utter bliss. One of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard, and it's still just as powerful three years later.

I've found that Say Anything and Smiths may be some of the best work-out bands. Not typical music for working out, but it totally does it. Say Anything makes way more sense--very high energy, but Smiths I just don't understand but I'll be damned if that doesn't do it for me.

Independent Study classes going well, things are good. I've had to relearn how to be single and it was tough at first. I've found my stride though, and it feels good to rely on no one but yourself for a time. I have realized more so than I ever had about a very big part of my life. I feel like I've never been so resolute about getting something, and I will have what I see at the end of this journey. Dug.

To Lebron and Sierra Nevada Summerfest--the best summer brew as always.

On ho, oh no.

I absolutely love this photo; it's a six-month exposure of some bridge (I don't rightly remember--no, not the Brooklyn, or that one in Cincy that was a precursor to the Brooklyn Bridge--anyways).

The long, paint-like arcs above the bridge are of the sun's seasonal variations in height. It's always fascinating to see something clearly demonstrated with actual, natural, physical examples instead of the usual man-made graphics in texts of such phenomenon. Sort of like seeing video of the curvature of the Earth; as if it is some sort of proof of accepted ideas.

Yep, that's right. Proof of an accepted idea. That's so contrary to how should logically think of things. Yet, we still--even hen we 100% believe in something--must find some sort of affirmation for that belief. Why is that? How is that? Honestly, I find it hard to believe that we all need to be shown that yes, A is true even though you would sworn your own life by it.

But, it's how we think. It's how we are, and I know I'm the first to desire that the things I know be proven and confirmed--at least once. Oddly, though, the things I can't really know--or ever know--I don't find myself too interested in proving. Maybe it's a subconscious understanding that it's a waste of time. Or is it?

I don't know.

I've been listening to a fuck-load of Langhorne Slim. While I was first introduced to him by a relative (an extremely awesome relative, obviously) last summer when I traveled to the good ol' Cali-fone-ya, I have been steadily becoming more and more of a fan over the last nine months or so. In an almost rebirth of this interest in his music, the last two weeks have been almost nothing but Slim's music. That's the obsessive personality characteristic coming to fruition; I can't let something I enjoy remain in moderation, on ho, oh no. The pleasure of meeting him en concert a few weeks back was of utmost pleasure. Incredibly humble and eager to meet his fans; granted there were probably only 10 of us in the entire building (and I knew one of them) who were there mainly for Slim, it was satisfying to meet such a troubadour with such a well-mannered demeanor.

The next few chapters are really hard to foresee at this point. I know the major plot points, and where the story is (and is likely) heading, but I really can't quite see the actual plot lines. For myself, it's strange to not at least be able to anticipate the general idea of how that following week or two will unfold and what obstacles/challenges/ideals/etc. I will face, but I feel strangely relieved by this.

I think it's too easy to get comfortable with the norm. Sometimes a good shakin' is all your outlook needs.

Shake away, I 'spose.

------

It rained a lot this weekend--and I mean a lot. A good rain always sort of resets the world. Like that feeling after taking a shower after not taking one for three days--yeah, I know, I really stretched for that metaphor.

I have found myself thinking lately how much I miss such simple pleasures. That goes back to the whole 'regret' thing I used to hark on all the time. It's so easy to remember the big events in your life--the important and altering events--but it's so impossible to forget all those little things that you used to live sublimely. The best (and worst part) is that you can never remember all of these events at any given time--unlike the big events. So you spend your days doing your routine and then

BAM!

You remember that one ride on the flat on the ATV, or that drive around Ashland late at night with a couple cafe mochas. Or that time at the soccer field with the only people in the world that mattered. That ungodly early morning wake to a friend who traveled far and early just to see you. Or that time when you slammed on your breaks, nearly going through a crowded intersection somewhere on US-23 in Ohio. Or that time at the flood walls on the banks of the Ohio, eating, of all things, mcdonalds. That one time at the irish pub with the incessantly rude (as yet indeterminable) europeans. That time, laying in bed reading an article out of the National Geographic the night before a doctors visit. All those cool summer nights in the fields, made so very warm by the crackling fire, but mostly by the joy of your company.

Of all the things I do to sustain my survival--eating, sleeping, exercising, working--it's the little box of these memories that does the most, and that will be true, always.

I made a decision the other day to play with my old band at least once more. It seems it may--if only 75%--happen. Of that 75%, I am just as satisfied. Now to make it happen--the wheels are turning, just gotta make 'em move.

The wheels are turning, now to make it happen.

Oh, guten tag Spring.

Looks like it's officially spring, and has been for a while now.

Again, I keep finding myself wrestling with the old addage, 'time flies when you get older' and I'm starting to think it's got me pinned in a headlock and is not likely to show much mercy or pity. I think...yep...I'm fine with that.

Just means I have to take it all in a little more, and to bombard my brain with memories to make the illusion of longer periods of time.

As it stands, my job at Vanderbilt gets better and better; I feel like even in the last two months this position has gone from being rewarding and challenging to exciting and dream-like. First, the plan was to have me here maybe a year. Now, it's not only definitely going to be a year but instead a year and 9 months or so since it's very likely I will have this position until next January.

At which time I will be, hopefully (but don't cross your fingers--I've learned that actually does not work), will be starting my two-year term at UK as a physician assistant student. A PA is something I've honestly considered for a very long time--I found myself always attracted to the career and I think my time at Vanderbilt has been revelatory in many ways, but especially in helping me to realize what I want to do every day of my life. Honestly, I could do what I'm doing now for eternity, but I'm not as interested as I once was in getting my PhD, and well a research tech doesn't have the ceiling that other graduate study careers do. Odd, I know...

The best surprise from working in my lab comes this summer. My PI is sending me to Bar Harbor, Maine for 4-6 weeks in July. Bar Harbor is by far one of the most beautiful places on earth with Acadia national park on the very same island that I will be on. I'm very excited, and this is a huge opportunity for me. I can't wait to spend my days doing science with my good pals the Hagfish, and spend my evenings exploring the islands shores, trees, waters, the coastal towns all with my camera and my hiking boots.

At this point, I think I'm mostly done with trying to control what happens. As the past month has already showed me, if I just surrender to the air I will be happily whisked away to all sorts of places.

There is one thing that I'm definitely never going to give up on.

I look forward to that future--I could never be more sure of this one thing. I could never be more in love with something. Dug.

To opportunities, summers in Maine and those dreams of you.